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Being in Love vs. Loving Someone

  • Amber Chae Kim
  • Mar 17, 2015
  • 2 min read

Vintage Wedding

As if love wasn’t confusing enough, these days we all seem to have a notion of love that doesn’t really exist. The fairytales and fantasies we see on tv may be reflective of being in love, but in reality, long-term relationships can’t keep up that fire forever. With passionate loves comes compassionate love. Check out some signs that indicate what phase of love you’re in.

1. Helping Your Partner

In Love

At this stage in the relationship, you feel like you can do anything for your partner. Whether it’s as simple as taking out the trash or making the most elaborate date plans for your 100th day anniversary, you become happy by making your partner happy. By any means, you put your partner’s needs first and nothing feels like a chore. Anything you do with your partner is fun!

Loving Someone

You’ve got a billion things to do at work, your dirty laundry is piling up in the corner of your room, you’re running on 4 hours of sleep a day, and then your partner asks you to drive him or her somewhere. With so much on your plate, the last thing you want to do is give your partner a ride. What do you do? Well, you do it anyways. Even while you grumble and complain about losing time, you take your partner on a ride and leave them with a kiss. Sacrifice becomes a major aspect in a steady loving relationship; even if it’s inconvenient for you, you do your best to make it work for your partner.

2. Sexing Your Partner

In Love

Energizer bunnies FTW! You guys are all over each other whenever you get the chance, and every encounter gets better and better. As you explore each other’s minds and bodies, you fall deeper in love with every new layer you uncover about your partner. Fulfilling your partner’s sexual needs is a top priority and you don’t stop until everyone is satisfied.

Loving Someone

Every night in bed doesn’t have to lead in sex (GASP). Some nights are still hot and heavy like they were in the beginning, but sometimes, cuddle time takes precedence. When life kicks you in the butt, the best therapy is having someone to hold and talk through your problems, not just getting off.

3. Being Together Forever

In Love

When you’re in love, your emotions are on high and all you want to do is be around your partner. You want to be a part of him or her and you want to be each other’s world. Without this person, you feel alone and unfulfilled, yet their presence rejuvenates you instantly. You can’t imagine your future without them.

Loving Someone

When the fireworks and throes of passion steadily fade out, that intense feeling of want you had for your partner becomes a more intrinsic feeling of need. You still can’t imagine your future without them, not because you want something from them, but because you trust that person so much that you readily give yourself to them. There’s no demanding of love, there just is love; you only want the very best for that person despite your own desires.

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